Staying Cool In The Sun (Niqabi Style) Tips

Alhamdulillah, the weather is cooling down now but here are my tips:
1) Don’t wear too much black
2) Wear all your lightest outdoor clothes (ie abayas, niqabs and shoes)
3) Wear as little as possible UNDER your out-door clothes, you’ve got to remember, as long as all parts are covered islamically, it does not matter what you’re wearing esp under what people can see! lol
4) Take water with you if you’re gonna be out for more than an hour (dehydration is the killer)
5) Wear very light tights if you need to cover your feet (10 denier black ones will not show skin)
6) Wear sleeveless tops, skirts, shorts or even just your abayas/ jilbabs (dresses) without anything else under, since you’ll still be covered and won’t risk exposing your self.
7) Stay out of the sun!!!! LOOOOL
8) Wear white! Or if you’re too scared of standing out, coloured clothes. Remember, we are permitted to wear any color we want.
tip: if wearing white, wear a black or colored khimar over it then it is not so loud nor  will it stand out as much.

9) Dont wear a bonnet under your scarf.

10) If you are wearing a khimar with niqab, your khimar fits around your head without showing your neck, then skip putting on a scarf! Even if there is a little gap, your niqab will cover it anyway so you’ll get more air around your neck area.

If you’ve got a car, take flip-flops or sandals with you so you can change your shoes regularly and it will help to keep you cool.

Also, cooling your feet with cold water does wonders!

Oh! don’t go out during the hottest hours of the day (between 11am and 3pm) unless you really need to.

Lastly, please remember that in Islam, women ARE able to wear what ever color they want so mix and blend colors if you feel uncomfortable not wearing black. Dark colors like navy blues, browns, creams, pastels (esp hijabs) all do wonders in keeping you cool, are very fashionable if you’re a younger lady, are not as bright as white nor heat traps like black.

 

Shopping While Black, Muslim Or Child

Well, the title says it all.

After viewing a video on another blog about some of the racism experienced, witnessed and perpetrated by some shop customers and workers, I just had to do a quick post on it myself.

Sometimes, we all think that if we saw injustice being played out in front of our very eyes, we would naturally step in and speak out. But would we?

Although the videos are experiments, these things are REAL to many people. It happens on a daily basis all over the world and continues to happen with bystanders happy to play along most of the time.

What is a kick in the teeth is the reactions of those who agree with these kinds of treatment after the event. Check out some of the comments after the “victim” has left the store.

When confronted though, their tune changes so quick and they are all of a sudden “so sorry for the person”.

What would you hope you would do if that was happening in front of you?

Are you so sure you would stand up for humanity and stand up for someone who is being mistreated?

What if that person was a child or someone with a disability? What if the person is just not dressed in a way that makes you feel “comfortable”? Would you be brave enough to stand up for what is right?

Children are placed in danger ALL THE TIME and they go missing despite their best efforts to alert others to their need to be saved.

Kate and Gerry McCann have recently launched a missing child alert system and I hope that all parents not only educate their children on how to protect themselves but use the system and their natural instinct to protect others if they come across the scenarios being played out in these videos

 

One Thousand And Counting

Well, I have to say I’m suprised to have reached and broken this landmark on this blog so soon.

So in a slight honor of the occasion, I’d like to say thank you to those who have been reading, commented and supported me.

A big thanks to the hubster for getting me interested and started on the blogosphere.

To my friends, kiddo for being a wounderful young madam and (feels like an award ceremony lol) all of you in the big wide world.

I have to apologise for my laziness, as I have about twelve (12) drafts that I have yet to complete, a few interviews to write up and publish and hopefully, more adventures and stories to keep this blog going in the future.

Thank you, keep my dream alive, bring a cuppa and sit down, let’s chill together and I’ll bring the cakes!

Mwah, hugs and peace.

 

Each To Their Own

I had a slightly odd conversation with a man earlier today about my veil which I wanted to share.

A friend and I parted ways by my local shop after buying a few things and without realising it, the man must have been in the shop too.

So, as I went to walk up the hill to get kiddo from school the man stopped me.

CONVERSATION:

Man: I know you wear that because you want to, but errrrm…….  well , dont you feel you shouldn’t?

Me: No but I can understand why maybe someone else might feel that way, why?

Man: Well, even if you do wear it because you believe it’s the right thing for you…. and I think you are brave for wanting to wear it…. but still why do you wear it?

I know no one is forcing you to, but don’t you think you should take it off?

Me: To be honest, as you can see, there is no one here breathing down my neck telling me to wear it and I won’t take it off just to suite someone else so I don’t know what to say………. voice fading.

All the time we are walking up the hill and I’m wondering what his point is.

We talked until we got to to the top of the hill and I still had not got the point  that the man was trying to make.

Since the conversation was not that long, I hope I get a chance to chat with him again just to see if I can help him to better understand me and my choice.

It also brought back into my mind two (2) incidences that has happened. One of them being this one and the other to a friend living in another area.

She was accused of stealing in a chemists (she does not wear a veil) and it seems more likely that the person who accused her was the one doing the stealing (based on evidence).

What made it so upsetting is that both women were (in my opinion), minding their own business, trying to go about their normal routine and someone felt the need to draw a negative type of attension to them.

Yes, my friend IS white, born here, carries an English passport, raised her children here, runs her own business (in Dubai no less (me, big cheesy grin plastered on my face)), has a husband, does not dress “typically muslim” but does wear proper islamically correct clothing blah, blah, blah, but,  the point here is this, why make such a fuss about someone else to satisfy some egotistical motive?

There has been a LOT more hoo ha about women being arrested, threatened with being house bound (by their husband (May Allah protect the sister Ameen)), fined etc because they wear the veil and I will address them once I’ve stopped being too emotionally angry about the whole subject and can hopefully give a balanced view point on it rather than a rant.

PEACE

 

I Get The Same Looks Too

Now this is funny!

I don’t want to spoil it for you but if you do have a nervous disposition to nakedness then don’t follow the link!

 

Do You Speaking English?

Some times arrogance is not befitting to those who think English is the only language spoken in the whole wide world.

Taking into consideration that yes, this particular article does not read well for the people living in Milton Keynes, (by the way, my mother tongue is amongst the list ha ha ha), most people here, when they go abroad for holidays, business, or whatever else, do not speak the native dialects of those countries.

They also expect others to understand them or hope someone would have a basic grasp of what they are saying to be able to help them out.

So reading the few comments about people should only come to England after learning to speak English sounds so arrogant. What makes these people presume that all of those people were using translation services just to claim benefits?

My bug bear with this article is the fact that there are many languages and variations of the same language being spoken everywhere. I still speak my own language but 99% of the time, I speak English.  When I first came here, true I did not speak English and even when I did, due to my accent at the time, people would still ask me to repeat sentences or certain words, over time, that has stopped. Before coming here, I had actually thought my English was pretty good so it was not untill being here full-time that I realised that there are a range of accents, slangs and area dialects all over England that makes it harder for someone else to maybe understand me.

I found it ever so funny that I could not and still cannot understand someone with a strong Welsh, Scottish or Irish accent but I would never be so rude as to say that they cannot speak English, nor would I automatically presume that their motives for being in England is for state benefits, cheaper homes etc.

I would not go as far as to tell the person to only enter the country when they have learned to speak ” my kind of English” because it is plain rude.

My comparison between the Irish, Welsh and Scottish dialects is only because to go into those countries, you still need some sort of travel permit (maybe not Wales) therefore, you are coming from one country into another.

Just because the people from those countries are borders away from England does not mean the insinuations being applied to the list here does not apply to them too.

Sometimes in a work environment where many people need to be seen to, it is logical to have someone interpreting just to get the queues moving. Understandably, maybe some will view the number of languages extraordinary but come on! Milton Keynes is not so large that every langauge on the list needs to be catered for all the time. Every language on that list does not equate that a majority of the populace of Milton Keynes being made up of foreigners.

Added to that, there is still a segregation culture that is swept under the carpet in the name of PC (politically correctness).

In some townships, areas are mainly Muslim, Asian, Black, Middle class, Posh upper class, council estates that are run down, etc.

In those pockets, you are going to find that some of the needs are not what you would find easily in other areas.

I lived in an area where I stuck out like a sore thumb for all the wrong reasons and I was out of there as soon as I could to live amongst people who were similar to me. I have also lived in areas where I did stick out but the treatment I received then, by the populace, made it welcoming and enjoyable to live there. So Milton Keynes people, acceptance of others may be a lesson that you are being taught.

 

Losing My Cool

Today, I made a really big no-no which a part of me is really regretting.

It was only yesterday,I was reading an article about pride, having patience, not presuming things about other people etc and I agreed within myself that sometimes by allowing someone else’s actions to make us as individuals act in a way which is not good is unhealthy and today, I’ve gone and done the exact opposite.

I’m all for having patience but sometimes the actions of other’s can make me blow my top quicker than I can get myself under control.

Today was one of those days (sorry sis!).

I went to grab some food with a friend and some young dude eating in the restaurant was sat facing towards the doors.

I noticed the look (which was not a nice one) he gave and ignored him.

As we were ordering, he kept turning round and staring at us up and down. Now he did this four (4) times and kept mumbling something to himself. Now every time he turned to look at us, he had to physically turn his body and at the angle I was standing, it was very noticable.

Now this is the point where I should have continued ignoring him but instead I blew my top.

Fair enough, my voice must have been very harsh and my choice of words confrontational (and petty maybe) but I asked him what he was staring at etc.

This very quickly turned into an argument between the two of us and I was not ready to back down today.

He insulted me, I insulted him back and it must have gone on for more than a few minutes because my friend was not able to shut me up, the shop was silent and the air almost tense.

It took a lot for both of us to finally shut up and all the time inside, I was thinking to myself, “why am I doing this? Why am I allowing his actions make me look like a confrontational person?”.

I always tell my kiddo, if you don’t look at someone, you won’t know if they are looking at you or not, so why did I continue to watch him?

Why was I not able to blank him out like I normally do?

And worse of all, why was I not able to hear and appreciate what my friend was saying, and just SHUT UP!!.

Man, I am still so angry about the whole thing but more with my self.

I woke up angry with my self and allowed it to spill out of me in an uncontrollable manner as the day progressed.

Where has my girl gone?

This is one of those times when I would have appreciated her to come out and do her thang!

Lol, saying all this, I am too tired of the BS and am not in the mood for games right now.

Sorry boy in the shop (since I STILL THINK YOU ARE NO MAN) maybe next time you will catch me in a better mood, until then, I’m waiting for you to come and “merk” me if you think you is brave LOL.

 

Education Is The Key

Sometimes a reality check is truly needed when you think life is tough.

Living in a country like this one, coming from a different country and getting used to the life style of greed, selfishness, decadence and the privilege just to live in a comfortable home, sometimes you can forget just how much other people suffer and work hard just for basic means.

Living hand to mouth here is really nothing compared to living hand to mouth somewhere else.

I mean, how many times do we throw good food in the bin?

How many times do we leave taps running or dripping, wasting pure water that can still be put into a cup and drunk?

How many times a week, do we go shopping and buy food, clothes, goods and luxuries that we use just for entertainment?

Even if it is just a few times a month, how many clothes do most people have stuffed in their wardrobes or shoes stacked away so that we have choice of what to wear?

Then travel to another “third” (3rd) world country.

How is the lives of the people?

What kind of homes do they live in?

What clothes do they have to wear? What water do they drink? What food do they eat?

More importantly, how do they get all of it?

Dirt poor people all over the world, dream of having just the basic life that most people here take for granted.

To them, the chance to even step inside a school is a privilege. One that in a “free” country, is given for free.

Where food is provided to those who do not have much.

Where charities can help with aid or volunteers with fundraising or just donations from those around us can help.

So, what do those who have nothing, where is their help?

There are millions given in donations every single year by kind-hearted people to those who are in need and it is always siphoned off through corruption, through profit, through red tapes (let’s leave the politics aside eh?)

When the word oppression is bantered around, I have to question the history of countries like this one. I have to question, how international politics and relationships are forged. At whose expense is this done?

Dreams in most lands that I am thinking of, of young children and adults alike is to have an education.

To better themselves, to give themselves a future and some hope.

So why, when it all this is handed to some of us on a plate, do we forget so quickly. Why do we take it all for granted? Willing to live on what is classified as the bread line here?

Who in their right minds, want to live on basics if the opportunity is there to better your self?

Being amongst those who have forgotten, the shame I am feeling now is almost too much but I will not allow the tears to fall.

Because self-pity does not get you anywhere when the chance is still staring you in the face.

In this land of freedom, of opportunity there is still plenty of hope.

Even for those who have taken it all for granted, the real test is having the motivation.

Having the guts to get off our lazy backsides and facing our insignificant demons of pride, apprehension, fear, self righteousness, and the world owes me something mantra and going out there to achieve our own dreams.

Through the hard work, our appreciation for life and what it has to offer will surely come back.

Striving for the good rather than waiting for it to come to us will surely give us a stronger backbone.

The start of all this is EDUCATION!!!

Educating ourselves to remember that life did not start on a government platter with DOLE written on it!

Educating our children to appreciate what they have rather than pandering to their every single moan and sulky pout.

Educating our communities to understand that for every penny squandered here, someone out there is starving, ill, begging and dying for it.

Not just in other countries but HERE in our own back yards.

But until we all take full advantage of the chances we’ve got, then we should hang our heads in shame for all those who die because of our placid greed, our placid contribution to the corruption that keeps them starving, their people dying.

Because, with all their talk, all their hand shaking, politicians are not doing anything to help those in need. Big businesses are not truly helping their staff or those they buy from. The rich, the famous, they may all pay their taxes too, give to charity every now and then, but I promise you this, if all of them combined, gave a weeks worth of wages, not just a days worth, I wonder how far that would go?

Or even better still, if they donated even half the interest they get from their wages every week, month or year, how many thousands or millions of people would they be saving?

But its all about education.

That is where it starts.

 

Inspirational Signing

Recently, one of the mosques I go to was featured on a sign language program for the BBC.

I loved watching it and felt so proud and inspired even more to want to learn sign language.

Over the years, I have done some basic self teaching exercises to learn some basics like singular words, short sentences and the alphabet.

But what has got me thinking more on the subject is that many people suffer from physical impairments including deafness, sight problems, walking or speech etc and there are very limited resources that they have to help them be a part of the community.

It was random that I saw the program as I was talking to a friend and just happened to flick through channels and I thought I recognised a brother who was speaking to the presenter about what the mosque does to help those with hearing impairment to be at the mosque during major conferences or activity days so that they can join in with the wider congregation without there being specific days where interpreters are brought in just for them.

There was a very uplifting and emotional experience being had by all because the person interpreting, must not only be able to translate English into sign but also Arabic and Qur’anic texts too so the wealth of knowledge is immense as well as rewarding.

There are many women, men and children who need that facility in their local mosques rather than only being able to go on particular days or events and the rest of the time having to stay at home.

obviously, hearing impairment is not the only need that needs to be addressed in all mosques but it is a means to inclusion.

There are many activities in this mosque that I am talking about for those who are new to the religion, ladies only activities (including basketball and football sessions) langauge specific lessons and many such activities for kids and men done on different days.

It is very important that we are making strides to bring all members of our community together and that we all benefit from each other in life experiences, education and socially.

So I have decided that as part of my course to self improvement, I am going to find my nearest signing school, enroll and become a more beneficial member of my local mosques, community and circle (INSHA ALLAH!) God willing.

There are many needs that we can all volunteer, make time for or contribute to making the life of someone else that bit more bearable or enjoyable so, question: What can you do today, this week, next month or within this year to make your life and that of someone else fruitful and wholesome?

 

Pastor Amos

Being from a migrant community, the pastor was a pillar of the community, a well known person amongst every age group and well loved.

Pastor Amos, lived with his wife Prudence, their two (2) daughters Michelle and Olivia and their foster son Emanuele.

He was the chair person of the school governors, had headed many conferences and was so well respected, that parents were more than happy to send their children over to do chores at his house whenever he needed extra help.

One of those regularly sent to his house was Maybelle. But she hated it. With such a passion that  every time that dreaded phone call came, she wished she could string herself up from the beam running across her bedroom ceiling.

One day, just one day, she’d oust him for the miserable sinner that he was.

The lair and cheat with the perverted mind hiding behind the cloth.

Every Sunday, stood behind that pulpit, preaching about how others should seek forgiveness when he , himself needed all the help he could get just to stay out of hell!

This Friday was no different.

Just as Maybelle was getting ready to make her excuses to her mother that she would not be attending bible studies with the “honorable” pastor and the rest of the sheep, her other shouted up to her.

“Get your backside down here lady before you make us all late!”

Yes, yes hang on to your hat lady, I’m coming, Maybelle wanted to shout back but she dared not.

Instead, she slowly picked up her jacket and her purse off the bed and meandered down the stairs.

The rest of the family were already waiting in the car. Waiting as usual on her to get moving

As the family neared the house of the pastor, Maybelle felt the fluttering in her stomach and quickly put her hand over it, scared that someone in the darkness would see the alien moving inside her. Hurriedly, she clasped her jacket over her tiny bump and got out of the car.

At the door, stood the pastor and his wife welcoming people into their home.

To the left of them, at the window were his daughters staring out to see who had arrived.

A big grin spread over Olivia’s face as she noticed Maybelle’s twin brother Gabriel causally swaggering up the drive behind their father.

As they approached, she moved away from the window and went and stood in the hall way, the smile widening as their eyes met briefly.

As Maybelle walked through the door way, the smile on the pastor’s face was even wider than that of his ape like daughter stood in the background.

He ushered the family into the hall way and sneakily put his arm around Maybelle’s tiny shoulders for the briefest of moments.

She almost heaved at the familiar smell permeating from him. The same smell of Old Spice that he wore every other day guaranteed. The smell he wore when he knew that she would be around.

Eyes down, Maybelle rushed past him and took a seat at the back of the living room, waiting for the studies to start.

Today’s topic was about the upcoming baptisms and what the teens should expect to happen on the day.

As the pastor talked, he kept glancing over at Maybelle a little smile sneaking around the corner of his mouth but quickly brushed away by his hand.

Maybelle on the other hand, sat at the back glaring at him, hatred burning out of her eyes, wishing him dead or even better still, herself dead.

One way or the other, she had to get rid of her untimely problem but she knew that just this one time, she would have to rely on him to get the job done.

So, as dear pastor Amos asked her to go into the kitchen to help get the drinks in, she pretended to accidently drop a piece of paper near his foot.

He picked it up. Read the scrawled not on it and quickly stood up. Stuttering excuses about how he needed the toilet, he followed her out into the hall way. Pulling her quickly into his study, the panick on his face evident, he looked at the note again.

His deep voice low, “You better not be lying girl”

In this room, away from the suspicious eyes, her head raised firmly onto her shoulders as she spat at him “NO, I’m nearly two omnths gone since my last period so you need to get a move on”

She side stepped him and hurried into the kitchen before he could say any more.

Back in the living room, she took her seat and tried her best not to heave as swathes of nausea made her head swim.

After the lesson, Pastor Amos made excuses to her parents about how he needed someone to help him at the church yard tomorrow. Would her parents be kind enough to let her come over for a few hours.

Her mother was quick enough to open her stupid mouth and agree to her going after breakfast.

Pastor Amos gave a strained smile and let them go on their way.

At half past ten the next morning, Maybelle made her way alone to the church a few miles into town and let herself into the main hall.

She sat down in one of the pews for a while , trying to soak in the silence, hoping that the quiet would help still the butterflies in her stomache.

Stood in the shadows though, watching her was Pastor Amos, a spade held aloft in his hands.

He made his way silently behind her still holding the spade at shoulder height. His shoe sqeaked just as he got within striking distance from Maybelle. She turned in time to see the spade decending and felt the first blow as it struck her full square on the side of her head.

The next few blows merged into one as Pastor Amos bludgeoned her to death still sat on the pew.

Using a knife in his pocket, Pastor Amos repeatedly stabbed at Maybelle’s stomache, her face and at her upper body.

This frenzy continued for almost five minutes before he stopped. Sweat pouring from his forehead and breathless, he sat down for a moment next to Maybelle’s destroyed body.

Then the panick kicked in and he quickly dragged her body onto the floor.

He went out through the side door into the children’s hall where he had stashed a large blanket ready to wrap up her body.

But to his supprise, as he walked back inot the main hall there stood……..

Another story for you to finish off!