Madandloud's Blog

Recently a Muslim woman was stopped in France for driving with her veil on because the police decided that it impinged her vision.

Belgian MPs have voted to ban it in places including public gardens, streets, sports grounds and any other place considered public on the grounds that it will

help fight terrorism and grant rights to Muslim women.

Mmmm, don’t think so.

In Belgium, IF a woman wants to wear it, she has to seek WRITTEN permission from the police. Since they are law enforcers not law makers,  they will have to deny the woman that right based on the principle that the law is the law and they must enforce it.

Based upon the article, one hundred (100) women will be affected by this law in a country of how many thousands (1000′s)?????

So those hundred women are THE ONLY source of crime, terror and fear IN the whole of Belgium? And in France, their hysteria is targeted at around two thousand (2000) women?

They have to shoulder the burden of fines, prison and restricted freedom based on acts of crime that they have had no part in? (I make that statement based upon the fact that no evidence has been presented to say other wise so yes, I am presuming that they ARE innocent in this). What ever happened to innocent until proven guilty?

But lets entertain their point for a minute.

The basis for banning the veil or burka (since they can’t tell the difference between the two (2)) is that people use it to hide their identity and therefore may or may not (A) Use them as a means to commit a crime especially terrorism, (B) may use them to hide their identity therefore escaping froma crime scene using it (C) women who are forced to wear it are having their human rights breached and therefore are not free to be a part of the larger community. By passing this law, the various governments and their supporters believe they will be helping those kind of  women to escape from such oppression.

This is where I see the holes in those reasons.

1) Crimes are commited everyday by all sorts of people and most of them do not even bother to hid their faces anymore. Those who do, like the Isreali secret agents who killed the ambasador in the hotel using wigs, fake passports, changing into various outfits etc are so blatant about it, that this excuse is blown out of the water.

So are they going to ban the use of such items and include in that list, make up, masks, any form of fancy dress, halloween and christmas outfits etc, scarves that can be used in the winter to cover the face, hats, false eye lashes, nails, weaves, extensions, men who prance around in skirts for the laugh, heeled shoes (since they alter height (MR SARKOZY TUT TUT!!))  the list is very extensive.

2) Even with security cameras galore, crimminals have been smart enough to blend into crowds, fast enough to escape through other means so the wearing of niqab or burka, actually draws more attension (nowadays, never was like that before) to a person if their behaviour and actions are suspect. Also with the security risk issue, I will say it AGAIN, if those employed to carry out searches, to check passports or to secure buildings cannot do their jobs properly and identify individuals as they go through check points, then don’t blame it on the customer!

3) Women who are being forced to veil WILL NOT BE HELPED by such laws at all. In fact, they are the ones who will be MORE affected by such laws. The articles in the links already mention some of the problems they will face by it.

Another thing, most women who are forced to wear the burka especially, do not come from the countries wanting to ban them. Those countries are not in the papers campaining for those countries to abolish their cultural norms to free those women! You don’t see them boycotting those countries as a means to force them to rethink the appaling women’s rights issues blighting their countries or having meetings to discuss how organisations like the UN can bring sanctions against them, building places of refuge for those kinds of women or even donating money to fund avenues of escape for them, but like all big bullies, they target the smaller ones in the group ( in this case communities) and make their lives a misery whilst leaving the bigger picture untouched.

And that is just three (3)points being covered.

When you bring in international laws that they (Belgium, France etc) helped to bring in, the nasty stench of old colonial rule starts to permeat every orifice of their greedy little faces.

Let them admit the truth. Greed is the basis of this. They helped to bomb the countries that some of these women came from ( let’s forget the nationals that adopted veil since they don’t count eh?) and now they are fleeing to their countries, they want to kick them whilst they are down by saying rubbish like “ They come into our country and are forcing their ideals onto us. Well we are a secular country and we will not be forced to see people like them walking down our roads or using our services”

A classic line is: ” They are trying to push their religion upon us and the PC (politically correct) brigade are pandering to them”

Them??? Who is them? The millions of Muslims who live all over the world and are getting on with their lives?

The minority who have been condensed into particular areas and are targeted by bigots if they dare to leave those areas?

Minus fines, prison sentences, restricted services and alienation, how do these governments plan to help the hundreds (100′s) of “freed” women who could end up on the streets, killed (which I pray will not happen but it’s a worst and possible scenario), unable to work, unable to provide for themselves etc?

Will the rest of the community start to moan (again) that they are a drain on the already struggling economy?

I want to know what measures they as a country, are taking to protect women who are forced to wear the burka or veil, what are they doing to aid women who are fighting for the freedom to wear or not wear what they like?

With interest, the whole of Europe and the wider world are waiting to see how they plan to make this ban work especailly since Belgium’s government is already in such a disarray……

We all look to others for advice on issues concerning our selves but how many of us are influenced by the opinion given by someone else?

When it comes to big life decisions like marriage, child rearing, work, finances, choice of partners etc, we may consult those closest to us to find out what they think because our final decision may affect them too but do we also rely on the opinions of complete strangers?

I had a discussion with a few friends the other day about how much/ little they value opinions given to them by strangers and the answers varied a lot more than I thought.

When it came to topics that were of general interest like “should I buy the BOGOF (buy one, get one free) offers in the super market, then yes, maybe they would ask a complete stranger and go with their opinion but not when it came to issues relating to their home life or health unless it was the opinion of someone that is considered a professional in that field.

So I asked the question: “Would you let someone who does not know your tastes in partners help you choose one?”

Not really.

“Would you let a stranger tell you what to wear?”

No was the straight up answer.

So why is it, that some strangers feel it is their god given right to tell others that their choice of dress offends them or makes them feel intimidated?

Why, if you have no influence over what another person does, do strangers feel the need to poke their noses into your personal life and choices?

In this world and this life, the diversity around us in great.

Some people depend on the opinions of others before they make their own final decision like they are looking for approval.

But the fact is, everyone has an opinion and it will differ greatly to others.

That does not make them right or wrong, it’s just another perspective on the same topic.

When a person thinks or feels that their opinion is better or more important than yours or they use their opinion to try and belittle, demean, put down and shame you, that’s when there is a problem.

I always look to others for advice and have learned that admitting my own wrong doing etc, does actually benefit me. Learning to value the opinions of those I consider close to me, shows them how important they are in my life, how much I know they care for me and yet allow me, the freedom and space to make mistakes without feeling like I will be judged by them for it.

If I do feel a real sense of self doubt or uncertainty, then by feeling confident that I will be listened to, I can seek constuctive advice and base a decision on it without feeling silly.

Looking to those who know you, care for you and have your best interest at heart is a good thing and you should not reject their thoughts, random strangers though or those who barely know you, you should a) take what they say with a pinch of salt, b) dicard it completly or c) if they are a professional, then listen to it and make an informed decision.

Stay safe mentaly and physically in all situations and remember, sometimes it is good to admit that you need help.

Until 9/11, most people did not know much about Islam unless they lived in a community that had a large Muslim population or had an interest in the religion or had friends who were Muslims.

From asking basic questions to find out how individual Muslims lived, most people were comfortable about the way Muslims “intergrated” into the community, most people would testify that the Muslims they knew, were amicable, polite, kept themselves to themselves, were nice to be around , kind, etc, etc.

They would invite them (their Muslim neighbours) to gatherings and vice versa. There was a civil level of cohesion between most people from all religions and understanding regardless of their backgrounds.

But for most, since this crime (9/11) was commited, they have viewed their Muslims neighbours from a different light. They have now grown to feel suspicious of them and even fearful of them and their intensions.

Fuelled by what they have heard and seen in the media, Muslims and Islam is viewd as a backward religion and those who follow it unintellegent, moaning, selfish and intolerant.

Words such as “fanatical”, “radical”, foriegn, alien, immigrants, cultural, violent jihadis, Islamists, subjugated, oppressed, archaic, stone age, terrorists, “wahabbis” all do not help the situation from the stand point of a non Muslim who does not understand why a Muslim may view certain issues from a different light. Nor do these words help the non Muslim to know what Islam is about (even on the most basic a level) .They are words that fuel unfounded fear in a majority through the actions of a minority.

Some of the people now on the wanted lists of America, England, Denmark, Pakistan etc, where once the same men those very governments used to fight wars in the countries that they now target in the name of freedom, democracy and human rights.

These men where once good enough for those governments to arm and train to fight.

So without knowing the full in and outs of those men, seeing their faces plastered on television screens, dressed in clothes that are not typical of the nations they used to fight for, now labled as the culprits that are threatening the very fabric of “civilisation”, who can blame  non Muslims for being fearful?

But you know what? Before ever having the full story, every person is supposed to believe what they hear on the news, in news papers, on debates etc.

How, can those who are not aware of the teachings of Islam understand what Muslims are about?

Muslims are not a particular race of people. Nor are they (we) a particular skin color. Muslims do not all dress the same.

So seeing the only portrayal of Muslims as those from a Saudi Arabian background is a distorted image. And not all people from a Saudi background are Muslim.

A commentor once stated (on a blog site) that they go by sterotypes that they see on the media and what is around them to judge other people. The person stated that everytime they watch the news, when a terrorist is mentioned on the news, they are from an Arabian background or they are black and from Somalia or from a Pakistani origins.

To them, if they see someone of those races, they are automatically fearful of them and would view them with suspicion.

So how can a Muslim person like my self speak to them and bring understanding to them?

What can I do to make them understand that if a person commits a crime, regardless of what religious background that crimminal claims to come from, what they have done goes against their own teachings? That their crime, does not reflect the mindset of every person who also follows that religion?

How would I convince such a person that the crimminal is actually in the minority bracket and their actions should be seen for what it is. An atrocity that does not sit well with every person who is sane, who would not support such an act, who does not believe that it is a command from God that innocent people should die in HIS name?

If all that person hears and reads is that Muslims all over the world are willing to commit murder in the name of the religion, how can I, a person of that same religion, convince a non Muslim that my religion or my understanding of it, is not on par with someone with a murderous mind?

I cannot skip and blot out that some of the teachings that my religion calls for.

Jihad, one of the many buzz words bounced around the place.

But what is the word “jihad”?

What does it mean?

What does the scriptures mean whent it says (for example) that the one who kills, should be killed or the one who commits adultery should be stoned to death? Or even that the one who steals should have their hand cut off?

How do I, a Muslim, explain that to someone who on the one hand says they are (example) christian, who believes in the words of the Bible yet since childhood (ie, their christining), have not set foot into a church, does not read their own scriptures that they supposedly follow, who does not even realise that their own scripture calls for the same punishments to be metted out to those who trangress the laws set by God? On the other hand, the same person will say that those words were meant for a different era, a different mindset, a different set of people and therefore, cannot be used in modern terms since laws have changed, people have changed and life has moved on since those verses were revealed?

Should I be trying to make them see that in fact, I am peaceful when they view me as an enemy? Should I even bother?

And why should I have to constantly defend myself anyway?

Who am I going to convince if the person already sees me as a threat when I have not threatened them, behaved in any manner that can be viewd as aggressive towards that person nor have I said I am a threat to them?

Is it worth wasting time and energy to speak to someone who has believed that billions of people who they have never met, do not know all want them dead? And if those billions of people really did want to threaten them in any way,why are we (they) not taking a uniformed action?

Do non Muslims not ask themselves these questions?

If they all thought in that way, then why is there not anarchy on the streets?

Why are the security threat and deterrants not being rolled out on every street corner?

Why are people like me (who wear the veil, who dress “typically Muslim”) not being carted off for interogation and being held in the nearest Guatanamo prisons?

Where is all this hysteria that every single Muslim is a threat coming from if it is not instigated by a minority and fuelled by the mass media? I for one did not know much about Muslims or islam until I became one , but since 9/11, that’s all I ever seen to hear about.

All of a sudden there are all these cells and groups (which the governments knew about for years before 9/11) popping up in every news report, papers etc.

So, if your a non Muslim, and want to ask questions, my first advice is speak to your nearest Muslim whether male or female and find out from them, what Islam means to them. Question loads of Muslims and find out what Islam means to them, visit your nearest mosques and find out what Islam means and read for your self what the Qur’an says, read the books that explain the parts of Islam that you do not understand for your self and learn FOR YOUSELF what YOU think Islam is about.

Whether you end up agreeing with what you hear, read and see, only you will be a ble to tell. Whether it fuels or quells your fears, only you will know.

But if you choose to believe everything you see on a screen, like a movie, just know it’s not all real, it’s not happening in your back yard and may never happen in your lifetime.

Failing all that, use your own logic to judge EVERY SINGLE person you meet.

Terrorists, don’t wear a particular uniform or wear a mark that tells you they are a terrorist/ criminnal/ threat/ rapist/ paedophile/ thief/ woman basher/ knife weilding thug……..

Secret agents are supposed to belnd into the crowd, double agents do the same thing, a murderer does the same thing, a thief could be walking next to you and you will never know.

A bomber, a fanatic, a mentaly unstable person, all do not have a “typical” look so you would need to live your life weary of EVERY stranger.

Walking through the dusty lanes, breathless and tired, I continued my climb up towards the base of the mountain.

As I round the corner, I catch my first glimps of the  base of the mountain. The thousands of people before me, dressed in white, slowly snaking up the mountain side, making their way to the top.

My head hurts from the heat earlier in the day, my body drenched in sweat. I take a deep breath and reach out for my husband’s hand as we slowly take our first steps up on the hour long trek to the top.

He glances back at me and smiles. The sun setting in the distance ahead beckons us to hurry up. We walk as fast as we can, bustling through the crowds, hearing the snatched conversations as we pass men, women and children. Some have already made it to the top and are making their descent, whilst we, the late comers are acending.

Half way up, we stop to rest, my chest hurts from the walk, breathless and tired, I sit down on a large rock, take a sip of water and make a prayer that I will find the strength to reach the sumit.

I want to see the vast desert, spread out below me. After a few minutes we continue on our journey.

This is our first time. Walking in the footsteps of history, walking in the steps of those before us.

My mind thinks about the story, of a mother searching for water for her crying son, desperation etched over her face, the worry that must have gone through her. But her faith, strong and unyeilding, had put her trust in the all Powerful, The Great.

I use the thought to spur me on, not thinking of the darkness closing in around me. I grip tighter onto my husband, he puts a reassuring arm around my shoulders, bolstering me on.

Without even realising, we are almost there. I hear the voices raised in prayer, raised in hope for all that is pure. My husband’s deep voice joins in, like a chorus echoing around me.

My weak and feeble voice, tries to join in but emotions over take me. I glance back down the mountain, I pause, astonished by the vastness below me.

Dim in the distance, I see faint light from the homes of those getting ready for their nightly feast.

A cry, loud and pained escapes from my lips. Concerned look on his face, my husband holds me tighter, still in prayer, he holds me, lets me cry. Release. That’s all I want. The heavyness begins to lift away. My cries draws attention. Some women come closer, some smiling, some just concerned, they lead me away to a clearer spot.

There a woman wipes the tears and sweat from my face. She hands me another bottle of water and I make ablution. Without speaking the same language, she just seems to know what I need. Together, we pray, tears rolling down our faces, crying for the lose we each hold in our hearts. Crying for redemption, for our sorrows and woes.

After, I hear my husbands voice calling out to me.

It sounds different, clearer all of a sudden. My heart smiles, at last feeling some peace. At last feeling the belonging that he has been offering me all these years. My ungratefullness makes me shudder as he holds me. An embrace which not long ago, I would have shunned.

Security comes in waves as I hold onto him tightly. His loss is the same as mine but never once had I allowed myself to feel his pain til now. Dressed in his white garments head and beard overgrown, a look passes between us, a look that is renewed.

We smile and talk, sitting on the mountain side, allowing ourselves to feel our loss as a unit rather than two strangers, lost in the darkness.

We stand and pray together and slowly make our way back down the mountain.

This time we walk slower, talking and holding hands. I can feel now, what I had lost, the sadness lifting away from my heavy heart.

By the time we get to the bottom again, our minds have been made up for us.

We shall try again, not to replace what we’ve lost, but to heal and start again.

Our beloved child, taken so young will live on within us. Our yearning to make our family complete has not gone away, but this time, we will put our trust in the Most High. Surely he has heard us. And to Him belongs the unseen.

I glance at my husband and this time the smile reaches my face, reaches out for him to see.

He holds me again0;/.’ and it’s all I need to know, that we are solid. Never once has he failed me and in him too, I trust.

Back home a few weeks later, sitting on the balcony, allowing the sun to warm me, we talk again and this time my faith is stronger. We plan and make time for each other. Enjoying this soiltude before the hard work starts.

We will plan and pray, for the fruites of our labour to grow into a beautiful new tree.

Here we go again, Mr Sarkozy is still dreaming of the day he can get a minority group of women to feel isolated from the French community even more by being a hypocrite.

He and those who support him believe that a tiny minority of women are breaching the very essence of liberty afforded to the Fench by choosing to cover their faces with a square piece of cloth. By doing so, these women are showing themselves to be vulnerable to the dictatorship of their male relatives (and even some of their female relatives) and are covering themselves to the point of all you can see of them is their eyes, and by doing that, are not becoming a part of the wider community.

(Pardon me for the guttoral laugh that will escapes as I write this), I will say it again, the French President, wants to be the man who liberates these women from that shackle by bringing about a law that bans them from wearing it in “certain” public places.

Has Mr Sarkozy actually read the rulings set in Islamic laws about how women who choose to cover their faces must uncover in the situations he is citing as the reasons why this law would be needed?

Has he or his minions who “supposedly” talked with many “Islamic” leaders bothered to talk to the women who wear the veil and done proper research into finding out from their point of view, how this law would impact them?

Has his government or political group, brought any evidence to the table that makes their argument water tight or even workable? NO!

So how does the French (or the Belgians or the Dutch, or the English Or the Swedes or the…. heck, go find the list for your self) plan to inforce this or any other law that bans a very small minority group from being “free” in their country?

How will they enforce any of the penalties if the person (victim) becomes a persistant offender?

I mean, lets say a woman in France IS being forced or coersed into wearing the veil, if they leave their home and are caught taking it off, they have to suffer the reprocussions once behind closed doors, if they DON’T take it off in public, they are at risk of arrest, court cases, fines, jail, having certain public services denied to them including the freedom to pick up their own children from schools, access to medical care, being able to even go into places including a police station for help.

How does the woman get liberated if those are the choices she faces to “intergrate” in the French community? The only choice left to her is to remain at home which defeats the objective of this law (if it is passed).

When the question of security comes up, I have already given a few examples of how this can easily be worked around in the stated public places so I am not going to go into it again.

BUT! I am going to give a quick advice to my beloved sisters in Islam.

With all sincerity I say this, when living in the west, whether born here or not, giving up our right to wear whatever form of hijab we choose to just to “fit” in is not an option that we should compromise, nor should we make it difficult upon ourselves by demanding women only waiting areas, female doctors, no men to speak to us when it is absolutly neccessary, refusing to have picture IDs or to flash our faces to a man because he is not a mahrem.

These kind of things, if we educate our selves properly about the wearing of niqab, will show that in those kind of situations, we are permitted to show our faces for identification purposes, for any medical reason, if the situation (like maybe a court case) may make it neccessary for us to show our face.

We as muslimahs, know why we wear the veil, and it is time we stood up, spoke up and made it clear that we are fine.

We, do not want some man, president or stranger to force us to take it off just so they can be satisfied that we are not crimminals.

As long as we continue to go about our lives in the same LAW ABIDING manner that we have been doing, (SHAME ON THOSE DIGUSTING MEN WHO HAVE HIDDEN BEHIND THE VEIL TO ESCAPE FROM THEIR CRIMES AND HAVE MADE OUR LIVES A MISERY!!!), we need to keep our reliance with our Creator first and foremost.

We need to be more approachable in our mannerisms (but take it from me, it’s hard work cos regardless of how nice you are, those against us wearing a veil will always find other reasons to hate us for wanting to keep it on), we need to continue to work hard in the jobs we have, in the schools we attend, and in the neighbourhoods that we live in.

It is part of the struggle we will have to deal with so let’s not sit back and allow others to dictate to us.

Banning the veil does not address the true problems these governments face in trying to fight crime, terrorism, breach of civil rights and enforcing their laws, instead it is a way to target a section of their own communities, sweep the corruption  and real problems to the side whilst they try to win election seats and in turn, “look good”.

I wonder, what will happen in the next few years when “Muslim” is no longer a buzz word that gets people’s emotions riled or makes people angry and fearful?

I wonder, what will happen then when being a Muslim is no longer a vote grabber, or terrorism’s face changes to another group or religion?

This issue, will not die down, nor will women take off their veils purely based on this kind of pressure.

A lot of women who live in the countries I mentioned above believed that these countries gave them the freedom to express themselves, to work, to be a part of something without having to choose betweeen their religion, culture and lifestyle.

That is not the case anymore, and the mass hijra (migration) has started.

I wonder how that will affect the economy, the “human rights” of those countries and their global reputations, how it will it affect the work and social environment when freedom is only for the select few?

One more thing, I have heard a lot of people say that they prefer to see people’s faces as hiding the face is seen in the west as a sign of being sneaky or having a criminal mind etc, so, I tried an experiment for myself to see how many people’s faces I could remember and if I could judge what type of mentality that person had just by their facial expressions as well as their words.

I (and no, I am not a scientist or a body language expert), could not tell the difference between a person that may/ may not abuse or attack me from one who had good intensions and wanted to be my friend.

Their facial expressions, did not help me to gage whether the person was nice or not nor did I remember what every single person that I passed on the street looked like (even if I had spent a good five (5) minutes or more speaking to them).

So this whole preoccupation with needing to see everyone’s face, can someone explain it to me?

Check out this link.
I would laugh if I was not thinking of the ramifications it has.
Not only this idea but how many other criminals are going aroung impersonating other “ethnic” minorities or religious groups??

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1268215/White-robber-fools-police-weeks-elaborate-African-American-Hollywood-mask.html

Looking at the media coverage over the past ten (10) or so years since just before 9/11 (those numbers are so symbolic now), how have the general public viewed Muslims and the religion of Islam?

How has the media it self shaped the minds of those who had never really understood what Islam is about and how the issues within the Muslim communities affect the wider world?

Before actively seeking to become Muslim myself, I did not know anyone who was Muslim nor did I know anything about the religion.

Luckily for me, I went into the religion with a clean slate and mindset and I was open to finding out individual perspectives on the religion was as well as what was supposed to be common knowledge amongst the worshipers.

But since the September bombings in America and the tube bombings in London ( and all the other subsequent attempts across other parts of the world), Muslims have been the talking point on an almost daily basis on news channels, on political forums and in parliaments, is the subject of heated debates all over the internet, and has become one of the hot issues being used by certain political parties all over the globe to win a majority vote in their respected countries.

The outcry that seems to be loudest from the non Muslim prospective is “WHY ARE THE MODERATE MUSLIMS NOT SPEAKING OUT AGAINST THE CRIMES BEING COMMITTED BY THE EXTREMISTS AND WHY DOES THERE SEEM TO BE A DEAFENING SILENCE WHEN IT COMES TO CERTAIN “ISLAMIC ISSUES?” (Mainly the rights of women and equality between the sexes to name a few.)

So what can the Muslim community as a whole, world wide, do to defuse this “image” that is tainting the religion and the people who follow it?

The first thing that I believe can be done about the situation, is to curb the use of unrepresentative words which when defined clearly, gives a biased and distorted view of Muslims.

Words like “Muslim extremists”, “Muslim fundamentalists”,” Islamic Fanatics”, “Islamic Jihadists”, Wahhabi extremists, and the scores of others being used by the media to fuel the perceptions of the people who do not take the time to investigate and educate themselves about the news headlines or the words being used. The media (ie, news channels), are supposed to tell facts but what if the fact (including media blackouts) do not give a balanced view or picture?

The portrayal of Muslim women is a very distorted one. Every time a woman from a Muslim majority country is portrayed on the international media screens, it is a woman dressed completely in black (ie, the abaya and niqab (veil) walking sullenly down some dusty and deserted path or a woman dressed in the Afgani burkah (blue cloak that covers from head to toe), even in the western countries, all women are portrayed in this way when it is so clear that Muslim women do not all wear just abayas and niqabs.

Not only that, but women are always seen either as an isolated figure or a group of blacked out women hiding their smiles and faces from strangers.

This is not the full face of Muslim women but rather the minority.

When it comes to the portrayal of Muslim men, it is always a man with a huge beard, wearing either a salwar kamise or a saudi style thobe with the checkered smaughs (headscarves) atop the heads or if we’re lucky, a kufi.

They are gun totting men, smoking sheesha pipes or in a mosque praying. (That last point is not so bad because it gives an idea of the muslim prayer and how it is performed). The point here is that there are very limited images of Muslims as a whole out there, the worst ones being the protesters clashing with the police, brandishing pathetic placards with slogans on it that do not represent the majority of the Muslim community.

In the mosques, our leaders are afriad to tackle the bigger issues facing Muslims because people are now being secretly filmed, their words being edited to sound and look like they are preaching hate or are discriminating against others so many issues are swept under the proverbial carpet. This makes us Muslims seem secretive, unable to confront those that are bringing trouble into the community (under the name of religion), allowing atrocities to happen whilst we all sit back with a placid sigh and say “Oh well, what can we do?”

When leaders do speak out though, do you know the kind of investigations they are put under by the police, councils, the Muslim community, and their own so called friends? The scrutiny they face to make sure they say they right thing, that their words show “inclusion of all”, that they are sure to choose their words carefully in case they too get tarnished with the “extremist brush”.

Now that is just the very tip of the iceberge, so imagime what the rest of it looks like? (The iceberge)

Imagine the many men and women who struggle to live in the same communities that they were born in but are shunned because of their faith? Or the way they choose to dress, or the type of meat they would rather eat?

Imagine being not accepted purely because your skin color is different, your family roots are from a different country, what if every time you leave your home, you have to put up with being called a foreigner in the country that you are born in?

To have political parties actively campaign for the likes of you to be deported out of the country you have known all your life just because all of a sudden you do not meet the kind of image they want in that country, your face does not fit.

Well, where do we fit? If we go by the borders placed in each country, the laws governing every land, where do Muslims fit?

What about those who convert?

What about those who marry Muslims and their children?

A lot of the support networks, workshops and community based projects that are supposed to help build an understanding between those from a non Muslim background  and those who are born/ raised/ converted to Islam, are so inadequate. they are too focused on (a) teaching basic English and maths( b) explaining why Muslim men and women do certain things differently (like we need to make excuses for everything)  (c) focuses more on the differences between Muslims and everyone else rather than the similarities. (Another way to seperate the very communities that are trying to get along)

Where did this concept stem from that Muslims are different to the rest of the world? Are we seen as aliens or completely of a different mindset to the  rest of the world?

The religion, Islam….. Archaic, backwards, discriminatory, sexist, incompatible with all other religions, violent….. those are a few of the words people use to describe the religion.

So the question is till unanswered (for now) WHAT/ HOW CAN MUSLIMS CHANGE THE IMAGE OF ISLAM?

For now, tell me what you think and what issues you think Muslims need to address including terrorism, the concept of Jihad, marital relationships, how converts relate to their friends and family….. anything

To be continued.

Cinderella had never really felt like she belonged. Living on an estate just off Lower Clapton road in Hackeny, she’d always dreamed of going back to Nigeria and meeting her own parents that she had not seen since the age of six (6).

Her parents had begged her uncle, also her mother’s brother, to bring her here with him almost twenty (20) years ago due to the unrest that had been going on in Nigeria and she had never had the chance to return.

The longing to feel the love of her mother had never left Cinderella even though her Auntie had never made her feel like an outsider in the family.

Her Uncle and Auntie had always tried to do their best by her, always made sure she called her parents twice (2) a week and talked about her parents with so much affection, that it made the yearning to see them inside her even stronger as the years had gone by.

Lying in her bed tonight, Cinderella felt the butterflies deep in her stomach, fluttering away, keeping her awake.

She looked at the clock and her restlessness deepened. In a matter if fifteen (15) hours, she would be meeting her parents again, held in their arms and at last feel the love that she had been missing so much.

With this restlessness though, came a feeling of apprehension, a feeling of not knowing and a feeling of excitement for the adventure that awaited her.

Tainted with it though was the fact that going to meet her parents was only one part of this adventure. Exploring and finding out the reasons why they had sent her so far away, was the other part. The part of her life that brought tears to her Aunties and Uncle’s eyes every time she tried to get them to talk about it.

The mystery that had kept her so far away from her beloved parents.

Now that this mystery was about to be solved, she wondered if she truly wanted the answers. How would it change her life or the image of her parents that she held so dearly in her mind.

Cinderella, closed her eyes once again and tried to sleep, pushing the uncertainties to to back of her mind.

All too soon, her Auntie was gently shaking her awake.

Cinderella, showered and slowly did her hair, got dressed and double checked her large suitcases, preparing for the trip to the airport.

The journey there was a bit of a blur but the tears shed  at the gates were enough for her to know that she was leaving behind a bunch of very special people.

On the plane, Cinderella listened to the recordings her cousin Mark had done for her.

A compilation of music and loving messages from all her friends and relatives back in England, saw her into the dusty and hot lands of Nigeria.

Waiting to meet her was a driver sent by her family who would drive her the hundred (100) odd miles to her mother’s village where the rest of her family were waiting with excitement and baited breath for her arrival.

The smells and sounds felt strangely familiar, the hundreds (100′s) of people going about their daily life, women dressed in an array of brightly printed clothes, carrying various products on their heads, men herding cattle and sheep dangerously close to the dusty, bumpy roads, young children waving and running beside the car, like she was royalty, made Cinderella feel so excited and eager to arrive in her mother’s village.

After a few hours, tired and feeling a tad snappy, she arrived to the sound of drums and music being played in her honor!

First she saw all these little children running towards the car, then a woman came out dressed in a beautiful dress and head wear. She started to run towards the car then stopped in her tracks.

Behind her, a slightly built man, with graying hair and glasses, dressed in a suite, clutched her.

Cinderella got out of the car slowly. She stood there for a moment, cried out “Mama” and began to run.

Her mother in all her finery, tears streaming down her face, held out her arms and took hold of her long lost baby. She squeezed Cinderella so tightly, she took her breath away.

Then letting her go, she introduced Cinderella to her father.

He too, took her in an embrace so powerful, the tears that fell down Cinderella’s cheeks almost choked her.

Inside their home, the rest of the family came out of various rooms. Some were singing, others just crying to have her back within their fold.

Cinderella was introduced to her Grandmother, some Aunties and Uncles, more cousins than she could count and a few childhood friends that she never knew she’d had.

Sitting down to a welcome home feast, she listened to all the stories about her past, her family and the lives of those living in Nigeria.

Long into the night, she listened to stories of her childhood, how the war had started and the toll it had had all across the lands.

She listened to the sad tales of women and children raped and killed, the looting and murders of the innocent, the soldiers battling against the rebels and then becoming the rebels themselves.

The government in total chaos, lawlessness running amok, bodies strewn all over the streets. The reality that had met her fragile life back then was not the kind that Cinderella could have remotely imagined.

She left the lingering question that had been eating her up to fester for a bit longer. Right now, all she wanted to do was curl up in her mother’s arms, to feel the little girl within her come out and be loved. Her parents did not disappoint her.

Her father  held her, talked about how much he loved her. How she had been a big hole in his heart all these years. He looked her in the eyes and told her how proud she had made him. Working hard in college and university, she had gone a lot further in her education that he could ever have dreamed for himself. Not only that, she had turned into a fine young woman, with a good head on her shoulders, bright and full of ideas for herself.

Her mother, sat on the other side of her, nodding in agreement, stroking her hand between hers. For now, Cinderella wanted to just bask in the warm feeling emulating from her parents. She fell asleep, sitting between them, feeling like she finally belonged.

A few days went by in a flurry of visitors and well wishers.

Her parents took her to meet some of their family members who lived further away and more parties were held in her honor. A few sheep were even slaughtered for the occasion which was one gory down side to her trip but it did not stop the adventure.

But almost a week into her trip, her parents finally steeled themselves to tell her the reason why they had sent her away.

Devastatingly, Cinderella sat in shock as her mother started the story………..

YOUR TURN TO PUT YOUR OWN ENDING!

My first ever article was a rant about the crazy outfits being made for young children and I wanted to re address this issue since I could not use the evidence I had at the time to give examples of the type of clothes I was talking about.

So in a way, a news article online today, has given me some proof about the ridiculous nature of some of the clothes being made and why it is so dangerous for companies to sell or promote such items for children and babies.

I am glad that this company have taken their padded bikinis off their shelves and plan to donate any profit to a charity.

But again, it has made me so angry that their staff members who are paid good money to shop whole sale with designers to kit out the shops they work for, do not have the sense to not have things like that on sale in the first place. Do these people not have kids of their own? Do they not have nieces, grandchildren, cousins or siblings who are of that age or have kids of that age?

Why do they feel it is acceptable for children to wear such provocative attires and who are they trying to fool?

Yes, we can all go on about how children like to feel grown up and want to emulate their parents, how dressing up is fun, but padded bikinis?

Push up bras, stilettos, mini shirts, crop tops, short shorts, make up….. the list gets longer every year.

It is not right that adults on one hand, allow children under their care to dress and behave in certain way and then punish them for some things that are so minor and petty compared to the things they allow the child to get away with.

An example of this contradiction is this: A parent allows their child to watch programs that are for lets say, teenagers, they allow the child to swear, to wear what ever they like and even to stay up late on a regular basis, maybe the parent even allows their child to skip school. They find these actions, acceptable. On the other hand, these same adults, do not find it acceptable that their child eats with their mouths open, cannot abide by their child having a messy room, will not tolerate certain types of bad manners or even selfishness and fighting.

They are not setting a good example for their child!

They are not being consistent in their parenting of that child!

And they are certainly not protecting that child from the dangers out there.

Some of those dangers are subtle, hard for an innocent child to detect and harder still to for them to deal with if they fall into that danger.

So WHY encourage mad men and women out there who may be your next door neighbor, you friend down the road, your own sibling with a perverted mind, to feel tempted to want to abuse your child? I heard a father who abused his own child BLAME the child for the years of abuse she endured by saying that the way she dressed encouraged (to put it nicely) him to be attracted to her, that her choice of clothing, made her seem older than her tender age of nine.

He was sick enough to say in court, that he blamed her for the suffering HE inflicted on her!

And these market traders must be made responsible for their part in corrupting children. And unfortunately, it’s not just them. T.v production companies are to blame too.

By law, they cannot have children of a certain age acting out sexual scenes like kissing or touching other people since by law, the child id underage. BUT! they get actors and actresses who are of the legal age, playing young children and teens, acting out these types of scenes and the children watching it do not and cannot tell the difference so they are misled into thinking that there are children out there doing it too so why not them?

By law, it would not be allowed for a man or woman, to touch a child in that kind of way on television but when you are a naive child, watching grow adults writhing about semi naked, kissing, simulating sexual acts, and promoting themselves through sex, how can we not expect any child to know that it is wrong?

Where is the ownership on adults to protect?

Where is the responsibility from the adults and law makers to conceal such acts from children?

Who is truly to blame for children thinking it is ok to flaunt their tiny bodies to the whole world?

My frustration has not waned as I try to protect my kiddo from this corruption, only to find her coming home crying her eyes out because her peers see her as a baby for not watching certain programs, not being allowed to wear make up or certain types of clothes, not being allowed to dance in certain ways, or going to certain places that they and their parents view as normal.

Am I sheltering her too much?

Or am I actually being sensible and allowing her to have a proper child hood wear she does not have to worry about image, clothing, body sizes and shapes……?

Can we as parents, expect our children and teens to grow up knowing more about sex, drugs, promiscuity etc, over self respect chastity, morals, confidence etc?

And no matter how much we may try to protect them from it in the home, do we have to come to terms with them being exposed to it no matter what in schools, on the streets, on the t.vs, in the shops and by others?

What measures need to be put in place to stop this idea that baring more flesh gets you somewhere in life?

With Mrs Katie Reid aka Katie Price aka Jordan the “glamor” model apperently seeking fertility treatment to try and concieve, the title hit me “like duh!”.

What is she on?

This (if it succeeds) will be baby daddy number three (3).

Why does she think more kids will help her keep this husband?

I am not going to go too much into her life since I do not know her.

It just brought up images of a few people I know who have had kids with more than one (1) man and the kinds of names they have endured over the years, the critisisms, funny looks and the stress of juggling more than one (1) no good daddy.

Yes, I call them no good because having been in those kids lives since they were in the womb, I have seen for myself just how little value their fathers have for them.

It has broken my heart too many times when they have not shown up for them, made promises and broken them, caused problems for their mothers and even taken liberties including getting themselves into trouble with the law and using the home address of their children as their own and the police have gone, kicked off the doors and frightened the living day lights out of them.

It’s a disgrace!

(Ok, disclaimer, non of these women are muslims but they have been my friends since my teens and are my sisters from another mother and nothing changes that.)

Anyway, regardless of what religion or race they are, I find it frustrating that they keep putting themselves through this trial of getting with a guy, ending up pregnant and being left holding the baby. They are struggling emotionally and financially to raise children with no support from the man or his side of the family and they think it’s ok when it is not.

When it comes to birthdays, holidays etc, that’s about the only time the extended family want to know the kids once they have grown out of their nappies and I find that sad. They don’t seem to mind that their sons, nephews or brothers do this and do not comprehend the damage this kind of life is having on the children.

Now my problem with this issue is focused on the mothers here because I don’t get where they are coming from.

I don’t understand why they think that after baby daddy number one (1) had left, that it would be ok to procreate with another two (2) or in one person’s case three (3) more baby daddies when they are all of  the same no good traites.

What makes these girls go for dudes like that?

Why are they not seeing that they are so much better than these types of blokes?

How can I make them see that they and their children deserve more and are worth more than this unstable life?

They work hard to look after their children, the kids are well looked after by their side of the family, they maintain their own homes, drive, are beautiful, inteligent…. but when it comes to men, their idea of a good man seems so distorted it’s not healthy.

Having made the mistake my self of being with a no hoper,I learned my lesson the hard way once I had freed myself from him. It took a long time, but I did not keep having kids by him or anyone else for that matter. I did not want to bring more innocent lives into my mistake and nor did I want to have children with a man I could not trust to stick around.

Having sat myself down and taken a harder look at why I went with a no hoper, I know exactly where they are making their mistakes but there does not seem to be no talking to them.

The girl with the most kids has four (4) children with four (4)  fathers and the rest vary from two (2) to three (3) kids with two (2) or more baby daddies.

Why is that seen as normal?

Why is it that these men are being allowed by the women to get them pregnant and then shunning their side of the responsibility?

How do they expect their numerous children to live?

It’s disgusting that they (both parents) are so willing to sleep with each other, not care enough to make any of their relationships work, do not seem to give a stuff about how all of this going and forth is affecting their children and believe they are good parents!

As individuals, yes they are good parents, as couples, no way!

On top of all that, they (the mothers) and the children have to put up with a lot of backbitting, accusations which are unfounded, sometimes violence and general shouting matches with various members of the  family on both sides.

It’s like world war 3 on a mini scale.

How do these people justify it all?

Mrs Reid, with all her millions, is called all sorts of names in the papers, is accussed of being an unfit mother, travels regularly and is away from her children a lot beacuse of her job, is constantly followed by the media on top of the cameras that record her every move for her “reality” show, seems to have a very strained relationship with the fathers of her children and deals with specualtion about her relationships on a daily basis.

From where I’m sitting, she does not seem to be coping. She may want to think she is, she may want to fool the outside world into thinking she is, but most sane people can see the strain and pressure she is under to be “perfect.

The perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect role model (NOT!), the perfect media vixen and fashionista and a business woman.

That is a big load on one person’s shoulders, so with all her millions that she can use to pay for nannies, counselling, holidays to get away from it all etc, if she is not coping, thinks that adding one more to the pack will make things alright, how do those who live on normal wages, who cannot afford au pairs, cannot get away for a break, have less support, how do they cope with it all?